But words will never hurt me. That is what I was told as a child and I am pretty sure I was made to say it back as if it were a mantra I would always need to remember. But it wasn’t true. I have never had a broken bone but I have had many hurts that were a direct result of people’s words. I have also been the cause of pains felt by those I care about because of the words I chose to use when talking to them, especially my children.
I recently have made a new friendship with wonderful mom over at Hands Free Mama. She has so much truth to share with the world and she has had some amazing opportunities to share lately. She is genuine and cares deeply about the families she is hoping to impact by sharing her stories and her journey. I am blessed to call her a friend in this journey of motherhood.
On December 11, 2013, I was up late at night because I was unable to sleep. I came across an article written by the Hands Free Mama entitled The Bully Too Close to Home. It peeked my interest and I was the only one up at 2am so I read it. I highly encourage you to do the same, Even before you finish reading my post.
As I began to read the article, I immediately knew that it was going to be significant in my life. Her words all at once comforted me while also calling me to the carpet on the way I speak to my children. I can not express to you how convicting her words were for me. If you struggle like I do with the way you speak to your children, then she has such encouraging words about how we can get on track. It won’t always be easy but you can always start over each time you mess up.
The night I read the article I did so through drenched eyes. After I finally made it through to the end of the article, I spend the next 10 minutes on my knees bawling before the Lord about this inequity in my life. I don’t want to be the bully in my home. I want to create a safe haven for my children and for my husband. I want more than anything to encourage them and build them up at all times but many days it doesn’t come out that way.
I am so thankful for being part of a family that does Grace and second chances. My family does not hold it over my head if I make a snap judgement, or snap at them, or treat them like they should already know how to do some things better than others. They just simply say they are sorry and we move on. I know the benefit of apologizing for my behavior as well. And I know the importance of being intentional with them so that they know I want more for our relationships together.
When my oldest was out for school, we had truly the most fun we have ever had together at home. I chose not to be the Bully. I chose not to assume because his brother was crying that he must have done something to him. I sat aside time special just for him each day and I enjoyed it so much. I know he did as well. We went most of the Christmas break with no yelling. Praise the Lord!! Just calm reassurance. It was truly so amazing that I did not want my son to return to school, which if I am being honest, is not the norm. I am usually ready for him to return because the two of them are driving me crazy. But not this time. I soaked up every minute I could get with them, gave them lots of hugs, snuggles, played games, and just spent time together. These were the things that helped me from being the bully in my home.
I feel that this year is starting out better and I am going to continue to be intentional about building up the relationships with those closest to me and not doing anything as far as I am concerned to tear them down. There will be plenty of people in the life of my children that will hurt them with words and I am resolved not to be one of those people. Grace is extended to us each day and in my endeavor to live a more Christ-like life. I want to be extending that same grace to my children in allowing them room to make mistakes.
Thank you Hands Free Mama for sharing your struggles and words of encouragement. And thank you for allowing me to share what your post, The Bully Too Close to Home, has done in my life. I thank the Lord for the friendship he is building in us as well.